A few more hours left of my heart being 3 years old. I had a little bit of a meltdown on Sunday night as I had her fall asleep, head on my shoulder while reading Princess Pigsty …
3 years ago feels like a few minutes ago but yet at the same time, it feels like 100 years ago – 4 years of sleepless nights does that to a person … 🙂 I was watching video’s of Phoenix today and couldn’t help feel my heart stop every so often – almost begging time to stop for just a moment. Yes, I can ‘savour’ the moments but the moments go by so quickly that you blink and they are gone.
Every day that passes she becomes a little to big to fit into my arms at bed time and a little to big for Princess Pigsty stories. I made a promise to her that I will keep her childlike innocence inside her – to make sure that she never loses the wide-eyed wonder while going through life.
I know I am being totally selfish but I am struggling to let go of the little girl that fits perfectly in my arms at bed time, the one that wakes up with cuddles and stories, of the naked bum that plays in the garden without a care in the world. As much as I will nurture her care free nature, I am not as powerful as what ‘should’ be in the world and what is ‘expected’ of us … that terrifies me – I don’t the world to get its nasty claws in her … I know – she is only turning 4 but it’s really big for me …
I am finding this year a lot harder than the previous ones, mainly because she is changing SO fast, SO quickly.
But after all is said and done, I look forward to watching her grow and to take on the world with both hands – her devilish wit and sharp sense of humor is something worth watching improve! 🙂
She is my proudest moment everyday!